my love of reality tv.

Hello all.

Slightly different post.

I've been going through something my whole life which has plagued me. I feel like a freak if I'm honest.

I am obsessed with trash tv. Yes, full on, reality trash.

As I type this post I have just finished watching this week's episode of Geordie Shore, and I'm not gonna lie, it was the best part of my week and the best part of last week was also Geordie Shore. And the week before that... and so on. Now that says one of two things; either I lead a very sad life, or for some reason I enjoy Geordie shore more than my actual life; both are definitely possible, but I actually think it's the latter.
I don't know what it is about that show but seeing people of well under average intelligence falling about and shagging just really gets me going.


*someone posted this on twitter.
I actually thought it was me.

From Jay and his ridiculously femenine eyebrows, to Charlotte and her pooey knickers (if you didn't see last week's episode you won't get this. and to be honest if you didn't you should be proud), I just love it all. And if I'm being entirely honest, my hair may have been slightly inspired by Holly's*.

I literally dream about being out with the Geordie Shore lot. Deficating myself etc. When the programme does finally come to its inevitable demise I do genuinely think I'll cry.

And it's not just Geordie Shore, oh no! Jersey shore is one of the best things that has ever happened to me, the fact that TOWIE is on twice a week makes my life complete and before Big Brother switched to Channel 5 I found myself watching the live footage for a ridiculous amount of time a day. I used to watch them sleep. Yes, really. Before it's aforementioned move over to C5, when it was flat out cancelled by Channel 4 and nobody knew its fate, I mourned over the loss of my summer. Obviously I would have still had one but there would have been no point to it.

Now Jersey and Geordie Shore are still my favourites, because they're clearly not scripted at all (or if so, very slightly) unlike TOWIE, and yet not remotely boring, like BB has a tendency to be. They are literally just people living in a house, getting absolutely smashed and going out. And sometimes they are even in the house hungover and tanning. It's actually like they based it on my life. Just based in the north. 

Now I know this has nothing to do with beauty or anything like that, I just wanted to let all you terrible people out there like me know that we shouldn't be ashamed of our terrible taste in television! We should embrace it! Not just thick people watch these programmes. I have had to explain to people whose only interests similar to mine are our (despicable) tastes in television why Big Brother is called Big Brother and not "CCTV" (this actually has happened). I do watch other stuff. I just prefer trash.

And yet even I think X Factor is despicable. 

Love xx

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notd: opi did you 'ear about van gough

I bought this polish a while ago and have only just got round to wearing it. It's from the OPI Dutch Treats collection that I swatched some of here I bought it because although I can't get enough nudish cremes, I don't have anything much like this.

First picture is without flash, second with.

It's a putty grey nude, definitely too cool to be a true nude, but rather unique and I really like it. The picture without flash is closest to what it actually looks like but still not entirely accurate, it's a little bit bluer than that. And it's nothing like the flash picture, which looks quite similar to Stranger Tides from the Pirates of the Carribean collection, which is probably actually a mixture between those two above pictures. Confusing.

Anyway, this was three coats, but I'm pretty sure that was because my first coat was waaaayyyy too thin.

In other news, it's payday tomorrow FINALLY. I'm going shopping so there should be lots of fun stuff to post about! I'm definitely getting St Tropez Dark so I'll be posting a comparison between the original in the next few days, and I'm seriously considering buying LiLash... Seen it on amazon for a bargainlicious £52 and I've wanted to try it for years. Watch this space!

x

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montagne jeunesse dead sea mud spa mask: review

hey guys!

I have a non nail post for your today at last!

I absolutely love skincare. I am obsessed with my face to the point of insanity; and I have to be pretty ill (self inflicted or not) to leave my make up on over night. I moisturise myself so much I can't hold a phone without it slipping off my face. That was a lie but you get my point.

I do a face mask at least once a week, but I try to do one on a Sunday and one on a Wednesday. I just think that the skin needs a little extra attention every now and then, whether that be a deep cleanse, a moisture boost, or just a bit of a pamper for the sake of it.

I'm sure you've at least heard of Montagne Jeunesse, but in case you haven't they're a skincare company that sell a huge selection of face masks, and hair and body products. I first noticed them because of their fun ingredients and natural ingredients, including fruits as well as the standard clay and herb based masks.

I've always found their products to be of a good quality, and especially good as most of their facial sachets are under £3, which means you can pick and choose what you fancy at any particuar time, rather than having loads of big tubes of products you don't really like (one day I'll show you my facial skincare drawer. it's a perfect example of this!)

So, as I said, their products are all made of natural ingredients, as well as being vegetarian approved (some are vegan), and paraben free. They also list all of their ingredients on their website, which I think is a very very good sign; there's nothing worse than a company who's scared to tell us what we're putting on our skin. Montagne Jeunesse is proud of its uncompromising natural credentials and ethos for ‘Conservation of Energy, Protection of Animals and the Environment.

So, this is one of two new fabric masks from Montagne Jeunesse, and I'll be reviewing the other one soon. They're both natural clay based masks soaked into a bamboo fabric mask, which claim to deep cleanse your skin, as well as brightening it up a bit.

I washed my face with my usual cleanser, using a muslin cloth to remove any dead skin (I always do this before a mask, and recommend you do too!), let skin dry and then got on with application.

Now, I've never used a fabric mask before so was a bit scared, and having read others' reviews on this expecting it to be massive on my face... which it wasn't, so I clearly have a huge face. 

The only issue I had with the fit of the mask was the nose area, as you can see from the above picture it's a got eye, nose and mouth holes (thank god!), and the nose area covered the middle of my nose but not the crooks (?!) on the sides, which is where I personally find I need the most extra cleansing. I did manage to get it to cover these areas but it took a bit of manouvering. 

The mask is really quite wet, I was expecting it to be drier, but it wasn't wet enough that it would drip. It felt very cooling on, but I couldn't help but feel a bit like a burns victim, although I assume this is something to get used to with fabric masks in general. It was very pleasant on the face, cooling and comfortable.

The mask smells really lovely and fresh, but unfortunately this made my eyes water slightly, although they do tend to do this with most strongly scented (natural or otherwise) products, and it died down after a few minutes.

Once it was safely on my face and my eyes had been dabbed appropriately, I sat down with my book and chilled for about 20 minutes (they recommend 10-15, but I got too into my book!), and then inspected it in the mirror. My face was feeling a little bit tight but not too bad, as the mask hadn't entirely dried like classic clay based masks. The chin had dried quite a lot and detatched itself from my face but this was possibly due to tea sipping. I'm not sure if this is meant to dry out entirely, but I doubt it as it would fall off your face I imagine! 

I peeled off the mask and was pleasantly surprised to see a very small (slightly green) residue on my face, which washed off really easily, which is my usual gripe with clay masks. I absolutely cannot stand the feeling of when you get the dry mask wet, I know that sounds so bizarre but the feeling of my skin suddenly releasing makes me shudder. This wasn't an issue however and I was all cleaned up in a couple of seconds, with some help from a trusty flannel.

I then let my face dry and toned/serumed/eyecreamed/moisturised (told you I was into it) as usual.

MY GOD MY FACE WAS SMOOTH. I did the mask a good few hours ago now and my face is still insanely soft, it's amazing. I've had a good inspection with my magnifying mirror and my pores look a lot clearer as well, especially around my nose.

Both of the new Clay Spa masks retail at £1.49* (absolute bargain), and are available in Boots from mid August, and Asda from September. They can be purchased now from the Montagne Jeunesse website here.

Okay, I saved this until the end in case any of you have nightmares, but here is me laughing at how much of a weirdo I look with the mask on:

*This product was sent to me for review but all opinions are my own.

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notd: nailgirls metallic leopard + review

Two posts in one day? WOW! At the moment I'm lucky if I manage one a week!

I've been fancying having leopard nails for a few days now, and was therefore thrilled when I recieved these two beauties in my July JolieBox!

nailgirls are a London based company owned by two sisters. They own a salon and sell all of their nail polishes in there as well as on their website.

These two are from their Olympics themed Medal Collection, one is a true gold foily shimmer and the other is a bronze with a slightly less sparkly finish. I tried them both on seperately earlier and I love 'em! The gold base literally only took one coat, I am so impressed! There's also a silver in the collection.

My leopard nail tutorial is HERE!

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joliebox: july 2012- the summer essentials: review

hello! sorry I've been  AWOL again lately, I've been quite busy at work and therefore knackered in the evenings; virtually ready for bed by 7.

Today I recieved a nice little parcel; and actually assumed it was last month's Joliebox, as it's still missing (waiting to hear from you on that front JB!), but was surprised to see a black box as opposed to the spcial ones from last month (waahh). So, it's been a month already! And I thought what better thing to kick me into posting again than a Jolie Box? Personally I think I might prefer them to Glossybox, although that might just be because I've been receiving Glossybox since Christmas and this is only my third month (but second box, grrr) with JB.

Anyway, enough rambling, lets go with the products!

Etat Pur Pure Active A22- Salicylic Acid 300

(or Etat Pur Biometric Skincare B09- Express purifying mask)

"A well known ingredient in dermatology, salicylic acid is very powerful and effective on acne-prone, blemished skin"

Very excited about this, I've been really enjoying the Dermatalogica set I got in last month's Glossybox (which I forgot to post about,  oooops) which is all salicylic based, having not really enjoyed using products containing it before.

This is a full sized (worth £12.20) bottle of water based salicylic gel, it's quite thick as you can see, and meant to be put on spots or all over for a little treatment. I put a little dab on a lurky spot earlier and it does appear to have shrunk slightly. I'll probably review this shortly if I like it. The bottle is brill, it has a funny little teat (hahaha) and you push the bottom (hahaha), which is rubbery and raised (hahaha) and a little droplet comes out (hahahaha I am a CHILD). They recommend you use 1-4 drops once or twice a day, and because it's 15ml it should be lasting a good while.

Jane Iredale Tantasia Self Tanner

"A moisturising gradual self-tanner for the face and body that provides instant, healthy looking colour"

This is the tiny tiniest sample ever, like, lipgloss sized. I don't really do gradual tanning, I prefer to get the colour I want and then use a decent moisturiser to maintain it, but hey ho, I'll be trying this on m face. I don't really get why a gradual tanner would be so tiny! It has a slight orange tint with a bit of shimmer

Also, it stinks.

Nailgirls Medal Collection Minis x2

"Gold, bronze or silver, these metallic polishes are sure to get you noticed this summer"

LOVE these. Bronze and gold foil polishes, yaaay! Plan to do a metallic leopard print with these, will keep you updated. You know I love polish, so this is all I need to say. I'll do a seperate post on these I imagine, whether it's a notd or a review. These are about the size of the Leighton Denny nail polish from the Harrods Glossybox if anyone got that, so a decent size.

Wen by Chaz Dean Sweet Almond and Mint Cleansing Conditioner

"Bursting with natural herbs and botanicals, this single-step cleansing conditioner leaves hair looking and feeling deeply cleansed and nourished at the same time"

I've seen this on shopping channels and online, and it's always interested me, but the full size is a bleedin £25 so I've never bought it.

It has the texture of a thick conditioner and smells really minty and nice. My friend tried to smell it earlier and squeezed some up her nose which was hysterically funny. She then tried to wipe the product from her nose back onto the tube though which was worrying.

This is 60ml so a decent size to try it, but they recommend using an insane amount of it so we shall see. I'm a bit worried about if this'll sap my red out, and also this has ridiculously varied reviews on makeupalley. I may review it. I'm scared.

Also, JB have put Caz instead of Chaz on the menu so it's been funny seeing bloggers copy, hehe.

Special Extra

"This month we have included an extra gift as a way of apology for the inconvenience that may have been caused by the late arrival of your June Joliebox last month, we hope you enjoy!"

Well that's very sweet of them, isn't it? All these bonus items are old box products I believe, I got the RMK Makeup Base, which I've had before but quite liked. I think
I'd prefer to have got something different, waaahhhhhhhh.

Continuing JolieBox + GlossyBox's current bizarre trend for including branded items, there's also some foam toe seperators, which I'm meh about. Quite excited about what they'll include next month though. JolieBox toenail clippers? JolieBox feminine wipes? Only time will tell!

Overall I like this box. I was instantly excited on seeing the Wen, the Salicylic acid and the nail polish. I'd say these are things I wanna see more of in beauty boxes, skincare, haircare and nail stuff. I'm not that into getting make up in them because I'm so picky with the stuff.

I recently got the Camera+ app for my iphone which I took these pictures with, what do you think? I'm hoping it'll help a bit until I can afford a proper camera.

I also have an instagram account, my username is xhannahsaidso in case you fancy following me, it's basically pictures of myself. hahaha.

ALSO, I want to do a giveaway. I might do one when I reach 10 (fml) followers, just a little one. A nail varnish or something. If you're not following me, do so! On blogger. Don't understand GFC....

SO, have you got your joliebox? did you get last months? what other beauty boxes are you subscribed to?

xx

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notd: maybelline forever strong dark denim

i love these nail polishes, the brushes are fab, the formulas are brill and I love the colours. so good for the price

dark denim is a new for 2012 colour and as soon as I saw it I fell in love. I've been obsessed with navy cremes ever since I got bored of OPI russian navy back in the day, I still loved the colour but the shimmer got on my nerves.

This is beautiful, pretty much exactly the colour of dark denim funnily enough, I love it. it's a bit more muted than it looks here.
it's a perfect navy in my eyes, not too dark and not too electric blue, just right.

The above pic is 3 coats but I could have done two I think, a thick coat of seche vite and flash, but pretty close to real life.

look at it shiiineee!

I'm going to London tomorrow and Wednesday for a course on supervisor skills for work. I'm scared about getting there, my co-worker is coming with me but I'm shit at travelling; I've never got on a train by myself.. ha

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nail rock tattoo wraps + devastation

I've been putting off wearing these for ages because a) I was waiting for my nails to grow and b) I didn't like the idea of having to buff the shine from my nails in order to wear them. Read on for my opinion...

redder hair

hello ladies

last night I dyed my hair a LOT redder, I didn't realise quite how bright it would be, it actually glows...

I bleached it using the l'oreal blonde thingy... I'll check what it's actually called later if anyone's interested, and then put crazy color in fire on top, left it for half an hour et voila. waking up this morning was a bleeding shock!

after all the bleaching I've subjected it to I'm surprised it's not in worse condition; it's a bit frazzled and dry but generally okay, even my extensions.

another picture to show you my new bag (post coming soon) and highly muscular arms...

so what do you think? too bright?

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